


Close Your Eyes (The Sun Is Going Down)

by Zoozleplug (Josie_Lynn)



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Flashbacks, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Nightmares, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-09 21:58:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11677893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josie_Lynn/pseuds/Zoozleplug
Summary: Dan Avidan's goal was to survive until the end. It's what he'd been trained for, it's what he'd been promised. But Arin Hanson and Suzy Berhow make wanting to win harder with each hour he spends with them. When it all comes down to it, will he make the choice to live or die?





	Close Your Eyes (The Sun Is Going Down)

The rules were simple: you get to live if they die; only two can make it out alive. Dan understood the rules. They'd been shouted at him for weeks now. He knew them better than anyone here.

So why hadn't he killed these two yet?

Two people. They both had matching blonde streaks. Either siblings or dating.

“Arin Hanson and Suzanne Berhow. 24 and 22. Claimed as spouses.” He remembers. He memorized every chart, every face, and every detail. Made it bittersweet when he slit their throats open or poisoned them. He felt as if he knew these people, the ones he killed.

But he had no time to make friends.

This was about surviving until the end.

“Please! Don't kill us,” Suzanne begs. He'd caught them quietly arguing about something and found no better time to ambush them, but he didn't expect them to not put up a fight. They had immediately surrendered something he wasn't readily familiar with.

Dan had the barrel of his shotgun pressed up against her chest and his finger was on the trigger. He could pull it now and finish off the other guy just as quick.

So why isn't he shooting her?

She moves and Dan presses the gun closer to her chest. She catches her breath and Dan can see her shaking. They're both shaking.

“It’s foolish to think you’ll both make it out of here alive,” Dan says, pushing Suzanne back with the gun.

“If you’re so sure, then why haven’t you killed us yet?” It’s Arin who speaks. Dan glances over at him and scowls. He points the gun to him now.

“Maybe I like hearing people beg for their lives before I blow their brains out,” He hisses out. Arin flinches.

“S-sh-she begged.” Arin stutters out. Suzanne looks over at Arin with a frown.

“You make a good point, I should just kill her right now,” Dan shrugs, pointing the gun back at Suzanne.

“NO!” Arin shouts, and next thing Dan knows, he's being tackled to the ground and the gun goes off.

Suzanne barely avoids the blast, and all three are on the ground and Dan's cursing.

“Son of a fucking bitch, Arin, you ruined it!” Dan shouts, pushing Arin off of him and pounding the ground with his fist.

“I-” Arin begins before pausing, “Wait. How do you know my name?” Dan shouts out incomprehensible sounds, angry at Arin for making him miss his shot.

“How wouldn't I, you piece of shit? We knew what we were getting into when we joined this game,” Dan growls, “And now, because of you two, I won’t fuckin’ win.” Arin gives him a confused look and Dan just wants to punch the look off his face.

“What made you think you were even going to win?” Suzanne asks him.

“Because I-” Dan stops. They didn't need to know that. “It's none of your fucking business. I had a clear chance and you two fucked it up for me.” Dan picks up the gun off the ground and aims it at Arin. “You fucking asshole, I'm gonna blow your fucking brains out!”

“Wait, no!” Arin cries, but Dan pulls the trigger anyway.

And nothing happens.

“The fuck?” Dan whispers. He pulls the trigger again. Still fucking nothing. “What the fuck, you've gotta be shitting me!” Dan pulls the trigger more, yet nothing happens. Great, he's out of ammo. Just fucking amazing.

“Looks like someone's out of shots.” Arin sneers. Dan flips his gun to hit Arin with the butt of it, but Suzanne chucks a rock at his jaw.

“Fuck!” He drops the gun and clutches his now aching jaw. “You bitch, why would you throw a rock at me?”

“Seriously?!” Suzanne exclaimed as she picked up another rock, smaller in comparison to the last one, and held it up, ready to chuck it at Dan.

Dan held his hand up in a halting motion, hoping that the simple action would provide him with an ounce of sympathy from the woman. As Suzanne lowered the rock, Dan sighed in relief, but still felt on edge as Suzanne kept the rock firmly in her grasp.

“You just tried to kill me and my husband, why wouldn’t I throw a rock at you, idiot?” Suzanne was angry, that much Dan knew, but he didn’t care.

“I wouldn’t expect someone to throw rocks at the person holding a shotgun.”

“You know nothing about war and resistance, do you?” Arin mumbles, “When you care enough about something, you will fight for it with whatever you can.”

“And sometimes rocks and pebbles are all you got,” Suzanne drops the rock to the ground and sneers at Dan. He stands and frowns at the pair, who are now standing beside each other. He’s disgusted, but a sound in the distance shakes him out of his reverie.

“Fuck,” he whispers, “Someone’s coming.”

“We know,” Suzanne quips, and Dan has to restrain from punching her in the face.

“If you know, then maybe you should get going.” Dan says, picking up his shotgun from the ground and tossing it over his shoulder, “I’m assuming you fucks set up camp somewhere, right?” They don’t respond, which could be a good sign.

“No…” Arin whispers, sounding too genuine for it to be a lie.

“Excuse me?”

“We’ve just been running and hiding,” Suzanne says, “We didn’t have much to begin with, so we thought it’d be best to just stay on the move.”

“We haven’t eaten or even stopped for sleep.” Arin whines, before Suzanne elbows him in the side.

“It’s been like, 3 days.” Dan deadpans. Suzanne shrugs.

“We’ll last.” The sound of a growling stomach seems to disprove the statement, as Arin throws a hand over his stomach and whines.

“Dammit, Suze,” Arin pouts over to his wife, “Maybe you’ll last, but I’m fuckin’ dying out here.”

“Arin!” She hissed, “I said we’ll last.”

“I’ll give you food.” Dan couldn’t believe he was saying this, and apparently they couldn’t believe it either.

“What?” They said in unison. Dan sighs and repeats himself slowly.

“I’ll give you food. Under one condition, of course.” He stepped close to the pair, and Suzanne knelt down to grab her rock again.

“What condition?” Arin speaks up.

“I’ll let you guys trail along with me. But I won’t protect you. And when it comes down to it….I’ll have to kill you both.”

They stare at each other, and Suzanne is the first one to speak up.

“Deal.” Arin’s sigh of relief follows suit, and Dan nods. He hates himself for taking these two along, but he’d rather they die by his hands than by starvation.

“Follow me, then.” Dan nods over to the bushes, and even though he gets odd looks from the pair, the gunshot in the distance has them diving into the bushes.

“Fuck, who is that?” Arin whispers before Dan slaps a hand over his mouth as footsteps grow closer.

“Goddammit, I must’ve scared ‘em off,” the voice grumbles, and Dan freezes. He knows the voice, and he hates himself for knowing the voice.

“Who’s it?” Suzanne whispers, and Dan throws a hand over her mouth as the steps grow closer to the bush they’re hiding in.

 _Please, please no_ , Dan thinks to himself. He doesn’t want to face them. Not here. Not now.

“Brian!” Another voice shouts, shocking the three in the bush with the volume. Dan doesn’t quite recognize this one, doesn't care to try. But the voice seems to pull Brian away, as he turns away from their hiding spot and Dan releases the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He waits until he's sure that Brian is gone before he takes his hands off of the pair’s mouths.

“We need to get out of this area now.” Dan crawls out the bush and he almost looks scared. Brian's presence shouldn't make him feel that way, but here he was. Fuckin’ terrified that he had even been close to him.

“Who was that?” Suzanne asked.

“He….” Dan's getting choked up, dammit he didn't want to show this side of himself to them. They didn't deserve that. He quickly composes himself before he answers. “That was Brian Wecht, an old associate of mine.”

“If he's an old friend, why'd you hide from him?” Arin questions and Dan nearly gives him a genuine answer. Instead, he scoffs and pushes past the man.

“I didn't call him my fuckin’ friend,” he spits out, “And I don't have to give you a reason for shit.” God, he was being such a dick to them, he knew that.

But what's wrong with a little tough love, right?

“Let's just get going, it'll be dark soon,” he says blankly. As he walks, he hears the sounds of their footsteps closely trailing him, and sighs. He can't believe he's doing this.

* * *

 

Night falls, and Dan has set up a separate tent for Arin and Suzanne, whom he learned preferred to be called Suzy. He can hear their soft snores, and figures that this is the first real sleep they've had since the games started. Hell, the meal he gave them (quickly cooked meat from some rabbits he caught earlier that day) was gone within minutes. He swears that Arin got choked up at the mere prospect of him giving them food.

He's picking at the fire he created, watching the embers crackle and fly into the air. He begins to hum to himself, a nameless tune with no real note correlation.

“You've always had a beautiful voice, Daniel.” Dan drops the stick and jumps at the voice. He turns and there's Brian, smiling at him with that fuckin’ look that makes Dan weak everytime. Brian takes a step closer, and Dan doesn't move. Brian takes another step and opens his arms, and Dan, without hesitation, stands up and falls into the opening.

Brian holds him in a tight embrace, places a kiss in his messy hair and mumbles, “There's my boy, always running back to me,” Dan wants to cry from giving in, but he can't. He's cried too many tears to give in to this moment.

“Bri,” he whispers. He looks up at Brian, whose icy glare is upon him. That alone has him speechless again.

“Daniel, why hide from me?” Brian asks him, “You know I can help you better than those two can.”

“I-” Dan's hushed by Brian's hand being pressed against his mouth.

“I didn't allow you to speak yet, did I?” Dan shakes his head, and Brian smiles. “Good boy. Now, you need to kill them. They're of no use to you.”

Dan wants to argue. He knows he should kill them, but something inside him wouldn't allow it.

“What are you waiting for?” Brian pushes him towards the tent, “Kill them.”

“I can't.”

“I didn't _ask_ about what you could do. I'm telling you to kill them, so _kill them._ ” Dan's scared. He's done worse to people, both awake and asleep, but now he couldn't.

“Daniel!” Brian shouts at him.

Tears are burning the sides of his eyes as he takes a step _back_ from the tent, then there's a swift kick to his back that has him crashing inside of the tent.

Arin and Suzy are inside, but they're already dead, deep slashes on their neck indicating someone cut them while they slept. Dan wants to fucking cry, because he couldn't have done this. He didn't want to do this.

“ **_Kill them, Daniel!_ ** ” Brian screams again, and Dan can't breathe, his world is shaking and he's choking and-

“Yo, wake up!” It's Arin, shaking Dan, who shoots up, tears streaming down his face as he's pulled out of what he assumes was a nightmare. The fire’s barely going, and he can just make out Arin's face in the dim light. He looks concerned.

“Wha?” he chokes out.

“You woke me up with all your noise and when I came out, you were shaking and whimpering and stuff. I know you don't like me and all, but I can't just turn away when someone's having a panic attack.”

“I wasn't having a panic attack.” Dan snaps, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Arin shakes his head.

“Sure you weren't.” Arin draws the first word out and Dan furrows his eyebrows with distaste.

“Don't fuckin’ sass me, Hanson.” Arin chuckles at him.

“Sorry, dude, didn't mean to offend you or anything.” His apology is loose, but Dan can tell that it's genuine. He shrugs it off.

“‘S whatever,” Dan runs a hand through his curls before he talks to Arin, “You should go back to bed.”

“Nah, I'll be fine.” Arin sits across from Dan and takes the stick from the fire. He starts carving something into the dirt, his tongue peeking out the side of his mouth while he does so.

“What are you doing?”

“Just digging my name into the ground, nothing major,” he shrugs. Dan thinks he's weird.

“You're weird.” Well, so much for just thinking it. Arin smiles and nods as if he's gotten told that a lot.

“I know. It's kinda my thing, ya know,” Arin digs the stick into the ground, “To be the weird one in a group. Conforming is the worst, you feel me?” Dan doesn't understand.

“I don't….I don't know. I've always sorta fit in to stuff, mainly because of my family,” Dan looks up at the sky, making out a few stars, “That’s how I've made it this far in my life.”

“By being cookie cutter offspring?” Dan chuckles at the term. It's not the first he's heard of it, but something about it coming from Arin made it sound less threatening, like less of a burden and more of an unfortunate circumstance.

“Yeah, I suppose.” Dan shrugs. He yawns, he's really tired but he needs to keep watch.

“You need to sleep.” Arin tells him. Dan waves it off.

“I need to stand guard, just in case someone comes along.”

“I'll keep watch. We'll be fine, I promise.” There's the genuine tone again. Dan's not liking it, he doesn't know why. But he just sighs and Arin helps him set up his own tent.

“You sure you got this?” Dan asks as he crawls inside of the tent.

“I'm sure. I've spent many a night protecting Suzy, there's no fault in adding someone to that list.” He smiles at him, and it's nothing like the smiles he's accustomed to. God, it makes him uncomfortable.

“Alright….uh, g’night then.”

“Night, Dan. Sleep well.”

Dan sleeps better than he's ever had that night.

* * *

 

When Dan wakes up, he expects his site to be ransacked. Even if bringing them was his idea, he still didn't trust Arin and Suzy. They were his soon-to-be victims; he wasn't trying to make them his friends.

He is surprised, however, to find that his site is still safe. He's even more surprised to see that Arin is still awake.

“Morning, Daniel!” Arin shouts jovially. Dan freezes at the way Arin says it, reminding him of his dream earlier that night.

“H-hi.” he stutters out to him, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Suze's still sleeping,” Arin tells him, pointing over to the tent, “So it's just us for right now.” Dan nods and begins to absentmindedly tug at his hair. He still standing awkwardly, too afraid to sit in front of Arin, who's being friendlier than he'd like.

“So….” Arin's directing his attention at Dan, “how'd you sleep?”

“Fine.” Dan's comment is short and to the point.

“Well that's good, better than not at all, right?”

“I guess,” Dan mumbles. The silence that follows makes the already tense atmosphere thicken.

It hadn't been a full 24 hours, but Arin was treating this as if they had become some sort of alliance. As if he didn't know how easily Dan could drop them and leave them for dead.

 _You could kill them right now, Daniel, and you'll be that much closer to winning,_ Brian's voice echoes in his head.

“I can't,” he whispers to no one but himself. It’s as if no matter how alone he is, Brian remains with him.

“Whatcha say?” Dan's head shoots up to look at Arin and there's a wild look in his eyes.

“Huh?”

“You said something, right?” _Fuck._

“No, just...just thinking out loud.” He lies but the stutter in his words tells another story. Arin doesn't look like he believes him, but keeps any more questions to himself for his sake and Suzy’s.

A yawn from the other tent breaks the tension momentarily. Suzy emerges from it after a while, her hair a mess, and squints at the two men.

“Hey.” Arin waves at her, Dan doesn't acknowledge her greeting. The way Arin's eyes brighten has Dan longing for something that he couldn't even place.

“Morning, Suzy, how'd you sleep?”

“Better than I have in a few days.” Dan chuckles at her statement, and she shoots a glare at him. “What's so funny, Dan?”

“Nothing, just didn't expect anyone to sleep well, considering our circumstances.”

“You mean our life or death situation?”

“Yeah. Who sleeps like a baby when you could get your throats slit in your sleep?” He’s joking but the sickness in his stomach reminds him that his statement holds truth.

“Well I didn't wake up murdered, so I guess I can be one of those people.”

“No one wakes up murdered.”

“Let me make my statement, dammit.”

All three laugh, a genuine sound and Dan likes it, feeling carefree for once. But then it hits him where they are.

“Alright, alright!” he snaps, cutting the laughter short, “Enough joking around. Let's get everything packed up, we don't have much time.”

“Much time for what?” Suzy questions.

“We're wasting time that could be spent on finding other players before they find us.” Dan begins to take his tent down, and Arin gets to work on taking down the one he shared with Suzy.

“Why waste time on finding others when we can just hide? It's worked for me and Arin.”

“Well you're with me now and that hiding shit ain't gonna fucking cut it, alright?” Dan's getting angry, he knows he is.

“Cool it, we're just trying to make sure that we don't put ourselves through any unnecessary trouble, and staying out of sight would help us a ton.” Suzy attempts to explain.

“I don't care what's going to help, what I say goes or I'll off you both right fucking now!” Dan pulls out his shotgun again and points it towards Suzy, who throws her hands up in the air.

“I’m sorry,” she cries, and Dan nearly pulls the trigger. But the way her voices cracks stops him, and he lowers the gun and sucks his teeth. He's not Brian.

“Whatever. Pack your shit up, we leave in 10.” Dan stuffs his belongings into his backpack and leaves the two to figure out their standings.

* * *

The trio walks in silence as they search for other players. Dan's got his shotgun strapped to his back and Arin and Suzy are holding machetes, provided by Dan. Arin's mumbling under his breath, complaining about being tired. Dan rolls his eyes, not bothering to feed into Arin's complaints. He remembers that he had told Arin to sleep.

A scurrying sound from behind them catches their attention, and Dan places his hands on his shotgun.

“Stay quiet,” he whispers, taking a step forward. He hears the scurrying again, louder and coming from the opposite direction. He whips around to catch a glimpse of someone running, too quick for him to identify, then a loud snap. Before Dan can react, the trio is squished together, wound by a trap and Dan's cursing, noticing that Arin and Suzy dropped their machetes.

“Son of a fuckin’ bitch!” Dan growls, pulling at the rope desperately. Dan hears an excited holler from below them, and looks down to see a male smiling up at them, a wicked look that could only mean trouble.

“Ross O’Donovan, 24.” Dan thinks to himself. If he remembers the chart correctly, they described him as quick and agile, and also incredibly strong for someone his size.

“Well, well, well, looks like it's my lucky day!” He yells up at them, “I've caught myself a threesome, how nice.”

“That's not how you use that word.” Arin says, earning a punch from Suzy.

“Oh shut up, I'll use it however I want. And it doesn't matter if you like it or not, because you're gonna be dead soon.”

“What makes you so confident in your ability to kill us? We outnumber you.” Dan yells down.

“Please, I can at least put up a fight with you, but the other two?” Ross points at Arin and Suzy, “They'd probably have to figure out how to not kill each other before I even come close.”

“I could kick your scrawny little ass!” Suzy shouts down, but he just laughs up at her, making their situation more humiliating.

“Oh princess, you couldn't touch me even if you _tried_ ,” he sneers. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a pocket knife, “Now, let's see…..I could get my friend and we could take turns holding you all down and cutting your limbs off piece by piece….probably cook it up. I bet the chubby one could feed my friends and I well.”

“That's some cannibalistic shit, you wouldn't actually do that.” Arin calls out.

“Oh, you don't know what I'm capable of.” Ross chuckles, “Now! You stay here while I go fetch someone. Oh, Brian's gonna be so proud of me!” the male bounces off, and Dan's grip on the rope tightens at the sound of Brian's name.

“That Brian guy must be really popular if you and that prick know him.” Arin says to Dan.

“Arin, I'm gonna need you to shut the fuck up or I'll kill you before he does.” Dan growls, trying to gnaw at the ropes.

“Hey, genius, you've still got your gun,” Suzy tells him. Dan, in the heat of the capture, had completely forgotten about his gun.

“Fuck,” he whispers to himself as he takes it off of his back and aims it at the knot.

“They were so easy to catch, you wouldn't believe-” Ross’s voice is back, and he's returned with Brian, and Dan feels sick to his stomach.

“I can believe it, Ross; the players are easy this time.” Brian tells him. Once they approach the net, Brian locks eyes with Dan.

“I'm thinking of breaking the chubby one's jaw. Thoughts?” Ross looks at Brian, and notices that he's staring right at Dan, a harsh glare that turns into a friendly one in a matter of moments.

“Daniel!” Brian exclaims, clapping his hands together, “What a pleasure it is to see you again.”

“What?” Ross looks at Dan, confused as to how Brian knew him.

“H-hi.” Dan croaks out.

“Ross, let them down, Dan's the guy I told you about.” Ross's eyes grow large in realization as he runs to a hidden area. Another snap is heard, and the trio is crashing to the ground, Dan's shotgun blasting a shot into the air and just barely missing him.

“Oh my God, I didn't know _this_ was the guy!” Ross sounds excited as he comes back from the clearing, hands waving around excitedly as he speaks. Brian walks over and extends a hand to Dan, in hopes of helping him up. Dan can feel his heart skip a beat at the simple gesture, and he takes the hand.

“It's been a few months, Daniel,” Brian whispers, looking him in the eyes as he pulls him up off the ground. Dan nods in response, and for a moment he forgets where he is as Brian envelopes him in a hug. “I thought I'd lost you.”

“You'd never lose me, Bri.” Dan can feel himself getting choked up, and he quickly pulls away from the embrace. Ross, Arin, and Suzy have their eyes on them, and Dan's face heats up. He grabs his shotgun off the ground and holds it close to him.

“So you're the fabled Daniel that Brian told me about?” Ross walks up to Dan and looks him up and down. Dan's hands balled into fists, ready to attack if he got too grabby.

“I guess. Why would you care?”

“Because Brian never tells me about his boyfriends! So when he talked about you, I _knew_ something was up,” Ross chuckled.

“Boyfriend?” Arin and Suzy say in unison.

“Okay but why do _you_ care? Why does it matter if Brian tells you about me, or anyone?” Dan questions, ignoring Arin and Suzy's curiosity.

“I don't know about you, but if your boyfriend's seeing other guys, you'd want to at least be the first to know!”

“What?” Is-did Ross just?

“Brian's always so damn secretive, but he talked about you a LOT. Like my God, it was almost like he was obsessed with you.”

“Okay, Ross, that's enough talking.” Brian pats Ross's head, and turns his attention back to Dan. “He’s very chatty when excited. I swear it's like dating a child.” Brian chuckles, but Dan doesn't laugh.

“You had a boyfriend….while we were…” Dan's speaking slowly, trying to process the thought and not attack Brian right away.

“You blokes must be hungry!” Ross exclaimed, clapping his hands together, “Come with us and we'll get you fed and bathed.”

“How are we going to get bathed?” Arin asks curiously.

“No questions, just come along.” Brian says.

“No.” Dan speaks up.

The group stops and Arin pouts at Dan.

“Whaddya mean 'no’? If someone's offering food and a bath, I'm gonna take it even if it kills me.” Arin argues.

“You fucking idiot, I told you to stay with me. That means no going off with other players unless you're hunting and killing them!” Dan shouts.

“Boys, boys,” Brian steps between the two, “Let's calm down and just take a breath. My partner is offering to help; it'd break both his and my heart if you passed it up. Come on, Dan,” Brian turns directly to Dan and that gaze is back, “You wouldn't want to break my heart, would you?”

Eyes are on him, and Dan feels like he's going to vomit. Brian's smiling at him, as is Ross.

“Just for tonight.” Arin whoops and takes Suzy's hand as Ross begins to lead them in the direction of their camp.

“I knew you'd come around!” Brian throws an arm around Dan's shoulders and squeezes him. “Now let's follow along, don't want to fall behind.”

Dan ignores the sinking feeling in his gut and walks, attempting to think calm thoughts to avoid crying at Brian's simple touch.

* * *

 

“I haven't felt this clean in months,” Arin comments as he stretches beside Dan, who's picking at the ground with a stick. They'd arrived at Brian and Ross's campsite, which was conveniently located beside a spring.

“Good for you,” he grumbles, “People are going to love pickpocketing a clean corpse.”

“Don't be such a downer, dude, we're in a comfortable spot right now. We'll be gone in the morning, right?” Arin says to him. Dan nods, but he's still feeling sour.

“Let the record show that I only came along because I didn't want to have you guys get killed by Brian.”

“What, Brian doesn't seem like he'd hurt a fly!” Arin smiles, “He's like, intimidating yet kind. You shouldn't bad-mouth him just 'cause he's your ex.”

_“If you ever cross me again, I'll rip your throat out, just like I did your little friend back there.” Brian hisses in Dan's face, his hand around Dan's neck as he threatens him. Dan peeks over at Jon, whose body lay lifeless on the ground, head detached from it. Dan tries to swallow the bile rising in his throat, but it proves difficult with the hand on his neck._

Dan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, pushing the thought away.

“Him being my ex has nothing to do with it,” he tells Arin, “I just...don’t trust him. He gives me a new vibe.”

“He seems alright to me, so until I'm proven wrong, I like him.”

“Your funeral.” Arin gasps, feigning shock, and Dan chuckles.

“Hey boys!” Ross appears in front of them, bouncing as he speaks, “We're setting up sleeping arrangements and we're just letting you know that Suzy and Holly will be sharing a tent.” Holly was Ross's wife, a pleasant woman with faded pink hair. Something about her pleased Dan, and he felt that she was trustworthy.

“Oh. Alright, I guess Dan and I can use the two spares.” Arin nods up at Dan.

“Actually, Brian and I will be taking one of them, so you'll be sharing with Dan.”

“What?” Ross now had Dan's full attention with that comment. “We had our own tents, what happened?”

“Brian confiscated them, said you wouldn't need them now that you're with us.”

“Excuse me?!” Dan threw the stick down and shot up from the ground. “He _confiscated_ them? What are we, fuckin’ children? He can't just take my stuff like that!”

“Whoa, whoa, calm down, it wasn't my decision! I thought it was stupid, but you know Bri,” Ross chuckled nervously, “You can't really say no to him.” He trails off at the end, and Dan frowns.

“Where is he?”

“He's getting cleaned up, you should probably-” Dan doesn't hear the end of Ross's sentence, as he stomps off in search of Brian.

“You threw away my fuckin’ tent?” Dan yells as he catches Brian in the midst of dressing himself. Brian doesn't seem to be phased by the outburst and doesn't miss a beat as he replies.

“Yes, because you're with us. You won't need it if we can provide everything you need.”

“I don't need you to provide for me, I only agreed to one night with you fucks.”

“You agreed, but your little friends like it here. Don't want to disappoint them, would you?”

“Stop treating me like a child, I'm a grown man and I don't want you speaking to me like this!” Dan stomps his foot, and Brian laughs.

“A grown man? Foot stomping and pouting isn't something grown men do.”

“Brian, I swear to fuck, if you don't start treating me like an adult, I'll-”

“You'll what?” Brian cuts him off, “You know that you can't fight against me, and even if you could, you won't.”

Dan is at a loss for words, and then Brian is standing in front of him.

“Dan, you're angry because of how we left off. I hurt you, I broke your heart, I know I did,” Brian puts his hand on Dan's shoulder, “I was awful to you and I did awful things to you. I'm letting you guys stay with me in hopes that this will smooth things over between us.”

“I….uhhh,” Dan baffled, he can't believe that Brian's apologizing to him.

“It's possible that one of us won't make it out of here alive...I want to at least be on good terms before we meet the end.” Brian's giving him the look, and Dan melts. “Can you forgive me?” He can't say no to him.

“Yes.” Dan croaks out, and he feels smaller as Brian pulls him into a hug. He buries his face in the crook of his neck, and he feels Brian's hand in his hair, petting him gently.

“That's my good boy. Now let's go get ready for bed.” Brian pulls away from Dan and pats his cheek before walking away towards the campsite. Dan revels in the silence as he catches his breath and clears his thoughts once more.

“You're still in love with him.” Arin's voice breaks the silence and Dan jumps, turning to find Arin smirking at him.

“I'm not.”

“Oh, but you are. The way you seemed to just _melt_ when he touched you, it's a clear sign that you still have some feelings.”

“Shut up before I snap your neck.”

“I’ve only known you for 24 hours and you’ve done nothing but give empty threats. Makes me wonder if you actually want to kill me.” Arin chuckles. Dan frowns and shoves past him, not looking back as he feels his face heating up at Arin’s comment.

He was right. He could have killed them by now, but something about them made it hard. Maybe it was Arin’s unusual cheerfulness? Or perhaps Suzy’s ferocious attitude? Dan didn’t know.

But he did know that he had a feeling that they could have been good friends, if it weren’t for these games. Now they were just targets to him, and he to them.

“Don’t get too lost in those sweet Brian thoughts,” Arin whispers into his ear, and Dan pushes him away again, a smirk on his face as he laughs at Arin.

“Fuck you,” he chuckles, walking back towards the campsite.

“Oh man, you’re already trying to bang me even after your Brian confession? Wow, you’ve got some libido, Daniel.” Arin pats Dan’s shoulder, laughing, but Dan’s response is a weak chuckle. He’s feeling uncomfortable as he feels Brian’s eyes on him, watching the way he’s interacting with Arin and judging him, Dan can just _feel_ him judging. He shrugs Arin’s hand off and walks over to Ross, who’s setting up a tent that could be for either Dan and Arin or for him and Brian. He lets out a deep sigh.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

Dan’s awakened by Arin’s incessant poking late in the night. He opens his eyes slowly, catching a glimpse of Arin’s face in the dark.

“Dude, do you hear that?” Dan shakes his head, and then a whimper is heard. He shoots up and nearly hit Arin in the face.

“Stay quiet.” Dan whispers, grabbing the knife he hid under his pillow and slowly makes his way out of the tent, seeing that the campfire was still lit. But there was no sign of Brian.

He stepped closer to the fire, hoping he’d be able to spot out a clue to where Brian could have gone, and then he hears another whimper. It’s coming from Ross’s tent, and Dan cocks his head to the side as he notices that it’s shaking. Maybe Brian got hurt and Ross is tending to wounds. It couldn’t hurt Dan to check.

He tiptoed towards the tent, not wanting to shock them, and peered inside the flap. He threw a hand over his mouth to stop the noise that nearly escaped in reaction to what he caught sight of.

Brian’s nibbling on Ross’s neck while Ross is nestled in his lap and whining. Their bottom halves are covered, but Dan can already tell that they’re not wearing anything under that blanket. There’s scratch marks littering Ross’s back, along with various bruises that Dan knows aren’t sex related.

Dan loses track of how long he’s staring until he hears a light chuckle. He meets Brian’s eyes, who smirks at him before going back to attacking Ross’s neck with his lips. Dan backs out of the tent and has to catch his breath.

Brian knew he was watching them. Brian had looked Dan right in the eyes. He had _laughed_ when he noticed Dan.

Arin pokes his head out of the tent and motions for Dan to come back.

“Did you find out what it was?” Arin whispers as he crawls back into the tent.

“Yes.”

“Well, what was it?”

“Nothing, just a dying player. I finished him off.” Dan lies, getting back under the covers and turning away from Arin.

“Really? How’d you do it?” Arin pesters.

“I snapped his neck, any more questions?” Dan puts the covers over his head, hoping that it’ll stop Arin from asking any further. But of course, Arin proves him wrong.

“Yeah. Why are you lying about killing someone?”

“Arin, please, I want to go to sleep.” Dan’s voice is getting shaky. Fuck, he feels himself getting emotional as his mind projects the image of Ross and Brian together.

“Dan, what did you see?” Arin places his hand over the cover, touching Dan’s shoulder. Dan shoots up and grabs Arin’s wrist tightly.

“Arin Joseph Hanson, if you ask me one more fucking question, I will kill you and scatter your body parts around this fucking forest.” Dan hisses, glaring deep into Arin’s eyes.

Arin’s speechless, eyes full of fear. Dan releases his grip on Arin’s wrist, lying back down. He doesn’t get another question and he hears Arin shuffling around to get back under his covers. Dan waited, listening closely as he heard Arin’s breathing even out. Once he’s sure that Arin’s asleep, he feels it coming on.

He’s crying. Alone and hurt, he’s crying.

* * *

 

When Dan wakes up, Arin’s already left the tent. He wonders how badly he scared him, but pushes that thought to the side as he exits the tent and sees the group surrounded by the still burning campfire.

“Hey, Dan! You’re finally awake,” Ross says with a smile. He’s got an arm around Holly, who’s rubbing her eyes and yawning. She’s probably fresh out of bed just like he is.

Dan doesn’t respond to Ross, he can barely look him in the eye after what happened last night. He’s sure that he didn’t see Dan watching them, but Dan still feels that pang of jealousy and guilt. Brian is nowhere to be found, and Dan lets out a sigh of relief at that realization. He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle talking to him.

.

He sits beside Arin and Suzy, and Arin nods to him. He doesn’t really speak, which Dan can understand, but something about his silence unsettles him.

“Brian should be back any minute now with some breakfast.” Ross says.

Dan nodded, staring into the fire. They sat in a comfortable silence until Brian came trekking back to the campsite, holding some dead rabbits by the ears. Ross and him got to work on cooking them, while Suzy, Holly, and Arin gathered together and conversed. Dan, on the other hand, just continued to stare into the fire, entranced by the embers.

_“You’re so beautiful like this, Dan,” Brian whispered to him, a hand pushing Dan’s t-shirt up as his other hand slowly stroked his cock. Dan stared up at the ceiling in a daze, slipping in and out of consciousness. Brian leaned down and kissed his collarbone, biting down just enough for Dan to feel it. It brings him back to the moment just long enough for him to realize what’s going on._

_He can’t ask him to stop; he doesn’t have enough energy for that. He wishes that he did._

_“I’m sorry I had to do this, but you never stay still,” Brian chuckles as he pecks Dan’s lips, “Especially not during this.” Dan feels a tear roll down his cheek, and Brian takes his hand off his stomach to wipe at it with his thumb._

_“No tears, baby, I promise this will feel good.”_

“Yo, Dan?” Arin’s voice breaks through his daydream and he’s brought back, blinking up at Arin with a lost expression.

“Yeah?”

“Breakfast.” Arin places a half-eaten piece of rabbit meat in his hands.

“What’s left of it, I assume?”

“...I couldn’t resist.” Arin confesses, and Dan chuckles as he takes a bite out of the food anyway.

“‘S fine. Thanks,” Dan whispers, and Arin sits beside him. Dan notices Suzy across the fire, chatting with Holly. He also notices Brian and Ross sitting beside each other, whispering and glancing at Dan and Arin every now and then. It makes Dan feel uncomfortable, but it isn’t the first time.

“Arin!” Ross calls out while Brian stands up, “Come here.” He motions for him to come quickly. Arin doesn’t hesitate and he pats Dan’s shoulder, pulling his hand back quickly. Maybe he remembered last night’s events and didn’t want to be victim to the same treatment.

Brian sits beside him once Arin leaves, but he doesn’t speak. He’s too close for Dan’s comfort, and he has a feeling that he knows.

“So, Dan, how’d you sleep last night?” Brian says (more like announces), smirking. Dan’s caught off guard and he looks around for an escape. Everyone seems to be looking over at them. Dan can’t leave him hanging; he’ll look like an asshole if he does.

“F-fine.” he reluctantly responds. Everyone seems to calm down, as if they, too, felt the tension once the question was asked. Dan’s still feeling the tension, and as the conversation he’s having with Brian continues, it just makes him feel worse. So much for having a calm day.

Once they finish breakfast and Dan gets a chance to get away from Brian, he finds himself clinging onto Arin.

“You know, if it weren’t for these games, I would have been an AMAZING artist.” Arin tells Dan, who’s latched onto his every word. He forces himself to be interested so that Brian doesn’t try to pull him away.

“You think? I’d coin you for more of the idiot comedian type.”

“That makes two of us, then.” Arin smirks.

“Ouch, are you really gonna bring it that hard, dude?” Dan laughs.

“I’m bringing it as hard as possible, gonna have you gripping the sheets with how hard I’m bringing it.” Arin winks at Dan, whose cheeks turn red as he laughs at the statement.

“Hey, Dan?” Ross comes over to the pair and kneels beside him, “Brian wants you to come with him today. Said that you’d be a good help with hunting or something.”

“But I-” Dan begins to argue before Arin stops him.

“That’s a good idea!” he exclaims, earning an angry glare from Dan, “The couples can stay together and hunt for food while you and Brian do...whatever it is he wants you both to do.” Arin dips into a lower octave with his final words, and the feeling Dan gets is a mixture of both surprising arousal and murderous rage.

“Arin, I am not-” Dan goes to argue again, but Ross cuts him off this time.

“That’s great! Well, we’re leaving in five.”

“Are we not gonna pack up?”

“Nah, we’re sure no one’s gonna come across our stuff.” Ross gives a knowing smirk, and Dan just shrugs. Once he leaves, Dan punches Arin in the arm.

“Ow, what the hell man?”

“Why the fuck did you rope me into being around him?”

“Because you need closure, dude. You can’t just spend your life fearing him, and if you’re trying to win, it’s best to make amends and accept winning with or without him.” Arin rubs his arm and pouts, standing up and beginning to walk away.

“Arin, you don’t understand.” He stops and looks over his shoulder at him.

“You’re right, I don’t. But me not understanding isn’t _my_ fault, now is it?” He walks away, leaving Dan speechless.

* * *

 

Dan and Brian spend the day walking in silence, trying not to draw any unwanted attention to them as they search for contestants.

“Do you even think there’s anyone left besides us?” Dan mumbles.

“There should be. If not….” Brian trails off as he looks at Dan.

“What?” Brian shakes his head and shrugs it off. He’s a lot more reserved now that it’s just Dan and him. Dan isn’t complaining, but he does find it strange.

The sound of branches breaking behind them has Dan pulling out his shotgun from behind his back, aiming it in the direction of the sound.

“Show yourself!” Brian shouts, brandishing a kukri knife. Huh, Dan never knew he had that. But now was not the time for him to be curious.

He watches as a challenger emerges from the trees, hands held high and...crying?

“Mark Fischbach, 28 years old, strong, but not very stealthy. Likely to get caught yet successfully fight against his captors.” Dan thinks to himself.

“Please….I’m just trying to make it back to my girlfriend. She’s been hurt and I can’t leave her alone.” Mark pleads.

Dan sucks his teeth. He doesn’t want to fight Mark, and he’s ready to let him go until-

“Kill him, Dan.” It’s Brian, and Dan’s breath catches in his throat.

“What?” Mark and Dan say in unison.

“I said kill him. Now.”

“He hasn’t done anything.” Dan says, lowering his gun.

“In these games, it doesn’t matter. He’s your enemy, now _kill him._ ” Brian hisses the last words, and Dan’s hands tighten around the gun. He doesn’t want to hurt this man, sees no real reason to that doesn’t tie in with the games.

“I...I can’t.” Dan whispers.

“What do you mean, ‘you can’t’? That’s quitter’s talk,” Brian groans at him, “I’ve seen you kill men stronger than this guy, now do it.”

“He just wants to be with his dying girlfriend, someone else can kill him.” Dan murmurs.

“I do not care what he wants to do, I fuckin’ said **_kill him._ ** ” Brian shoves Dan hard, and tears prick the sides of Dan’s eyes. He’s crying in front of him, fuck this wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Brian, please, I don’t wanna-” In a flash, Dan’s being shoved to the ground and Brian’s glaring down at him.

“I never thought I’d see the day when Dan Avidan would reject killing someone. I thought you’d do everything I say, remember?” Brian pulls out a handgun, and aims it at Mark. Where did Brian get a handgun?

Dan doesn’t have time to think further on it as Brian shoots Mark. Once in the chest, and Mark falls to the ground. Brian walks up to him, aims at his forehead, and shoots him point blank in the head. Dan’s shaking and crying, afraid to stand up.

“Pull yourself together. We need to get back to the campsite, it’s getting dark.” Brian speaks in a monotone voice. Dan stands on shaky legs, and Brian begins to walk away from him, not bothering to look back.

Dan follows, but not before he gets a look at Mark’s dead body. Dan could practically see his body getting paler as the blood spilled out of him. Dan felt like puking, but he just swallows and looks away as he picks up the pace to catch up to Brian.

They don’t speak the entire walk back to the site. Once they’ve returned, they notice that Ross, Arin, Suzy, and Holly have returned. Brian walks up to Ross, leaving Dan to walk by himself to Arin and Suzy, who are giggling amongst themselves.

“Dan!” Arin exclaims, causing him to jump out of fear. Arin notices this, and his next words are much lower in volume. “How was your day, dude?”

“It was fine.” Dan answers blankly, “How was yours?”

“Oh man, it went better than I thought it would!” Arin begins on a rant about Ross and Holly, one that Dan can’t fully follow. Suzy eventually joins in, and Dan catches words every now and then. Suzy talks about Holly’s bird calls, Arin about Ross’s sadistic humor.

“Man, they’re good friends.” Suzy sighs with a smile.

“Friends?” Dan’s finally paying attention. Suzy nods. “They’re not your _friends_ , Suzy. You’re an idiot for even believing that.” Suzy frowns at Dan.

“I’m an idiot for being optimistic?” Suzy quips.

“No, you’re an idiot for thinking that you can make real friends in this game,” Dan leans close to her face. “There are no friends, only targets. Get your head out of the clouds and face fucking reality.”

“I thought we were friends?” Suzy pouts and Dan grows furious.

“We are not friends!” He shouts, getting the attention of the other trio. Dan can just barely make out a smirk from Brian out of the side of his eye, but he ignores it and continues to yell. “I just couldn’t kill you guys because your asshole husband made me waste my last fucking shot.”

“It’s not my fucking fault you didn’t just shoot us on site!” Suzy yells back, “Don’t blame your own hesitation on us, you fucking prick! You had chances to kill us and you took _none of them_. We even slept in your campsite and you still didn’t take advantage of that!”

“Suzy, please, calm down,” Arin attempts to defuse the situation.

“No, Arin, I will not calm down!” Suzy hisses before turning her attention back to Dan, “You’re just a spoiled fucking brat who acts like he’s above everyone else, but you’re not, Dan, you’re just as awful and just as dead as the rest of us. You claim to be able to kill us, than fucking be true to your word and kill me right now.”

“Suzy!” Arin yells.

Dan lunges at her, but Arin tackles him. Ross, Brian and Holly have disappeared from the scene, leaving just the three to handle whatever this was.

“No, Arin, let him kill me if he’s the fuckin’ strong guy he’s claiming to be.”

“Suzy, stop fucking egging him on!” Arin’s got Dan pinned to the ground, and Dan’s trying his damnedest to get up, but Arin’s stronger than he first perceived him to be.

“Get off of me, Arin!” Dan growls.

“No, Dan! You’re trying to kill my wife!”

“She wants to die.”

“I don’t care! As long as I’m fucking here, you’re not going to kill her.” Dan cackles in disbelief.

“You weren’t fucking acting like this when I tried to shoot her,” he smirks sadistically, “If I remember, you actually tried to make me kill her _first_ , so what’s the use of acting like a hero when just two days ago, you were being a fucking coward.” Arin stares down at Dan, and Dan up at Arin.

“I may be a coward, but at least I can fucking live up to it.” Arin punches Dan in the jaw, and Dan cries out in pain.

“You son of a bitch!” Dan cries as Arin gets off of him and rubs at his knuckle.

“You’re scared, Dan, and we’re not going to allow you to treat us like shit just because you can’t stand up to someone.” Dan’s eyes are filling with tears, and he doesn’t know what to say.

So he runs.

* * *

 

He gets off the ground and he runs into the woods, away from Arin, away from Ross, away from _Brian_.

He feels that his legs are beginning to hurt and he thinks they’re going to give out, but even then he doesn’t stop running. His mind is racing and he’s crying and he feels like he can’t breathe.

He stops in a clearing and leans against a tree, attempting to catch his breath. He thinks about Arin’s words, and feels the tears coming back.

Arin was right. He was scared. Brian had promised him that he’d win, regardless of who was left. That the Board wouldn’t allow him to die, regardless of what the rules entailed. They would let Dan live. They had to let him live.

But they couldn’t do anything if Dan were to actually die by a player’s hands. After that, he’d be off their hands, and off Brian’s hands.

“No, don’t think that way,” Dan thought to himself, “Brian hates when you think like that.”

Brian.

It always came to Brian. From the moment he learned about the letter to be in these games, Brian had been in his life. Teaching him, training him, _loving him_. At least, loving him for a while.

_“You shouldn’t fall in love with your trainer,” Brian jokes one day. Dan blushes and shoves him playfully._

_“I’m not in love with you, loser,” Dan giggles, “I just really like you.”_

_“That’s close enough.” Brian presses a kiss to Dan’s cheek, and Dan melts._

Everything was so fine in the beginning. Brian was so supportive….Dan doesn’t know what changed.

_“No tears, baby, I promise this will feel good.” Brian whispered. Dan felt the head of his cock being pressed against his asshole, but Dan doesn’t remember when his or Brian’s pants got removed. Maybe while he slipped, Brian managed to remove them. Dan doesn’t know._

_Dan hisses at the sensation, tears prickling the sides of his eyes again as Brian shoves himself inside of Dan. His thrusts are rough and unforgiving, but Dan can’t speak. He wants to beg for him to stop, tell him that it hurts, but Dan can barely form coherent thoughts, let alone tell Brian he doesn’t want this._

_Brian didn’t listen the first time anyway. That’s the only reason he was in this mess._

Fuck….Brian had drugged him during sex. Dan remembers this, and he punches the tree. His hand’s crying out in pain and he thinks he’s broken it, but he doesn’t care. He deserves the pain, deserves to have every bone in his body broken.

_“Just fucking kill him, Dan, we’ve been over this!” Dan’s hands are shaking as he holds a gun to the temple of some stranger that Brian dragged in._

_“But why?” Dan whimpers, just as scared as his potential victim looks._

_“Why? Because I fucking told you to, now shoot him.” The man in the chair is crying, begging for his life._

_“But he hasn’t done anything; I can’t kill him unless I have a valid reason!” Dan tries to explain, wanting to drag this out as long as possible so that he wouldn’t have to do this._

_“In the games, you have no real reason other than to survive. This man will contribute to your survival, so fucking kill him already!” Dan shakes his head, and Brian slaps him._

_“I can’t do it!” Dan manages through tears._

_“Either you kill him,” Brian pulls out a gun of his own and aims it at Dan’s own head, “Or I kill you.”_

_Dan’s frozen, yet his hands are shaking more violently now._

_“Do it, Dan.” Brian’s tone is too calm, it’s scary._

_“I can’t.” Dan whispers._

_“Then I guess you want to die.”_

_“No…”_

_“Then fucking kill him.”_

_Silence, besides the man crying._

_“Kill him now!”_

_Dan’s crying with him._

_“_ ** _KILL HIM, DANIEL!_**   _"_ _Dan’s eyes screw shut and then there’s a gun firing. Dan believes that he’s dead, because there’s silence and darkness surrounding him._

_Then he opens his eyes, and he sees the dead man fallen to the ground, blood pooling around him. Dan’s eyes are wide and he drops the gun. Brian grabs him and pulls him into a hug, stroking his hair._

_“That’s my good boy. Always my good boy….”_

* * *

 

Dan’s hair is being stroked, but he doesn’t know who’s doing it. He feels something being pressed to his lips, and he can faintly make out mumbling.

“Come on, Dan, you need to eat something….” It’s Arin’s voice. What’s Arin doing here? More importantly, where is Dan?

“God, you look like you haven’t eaten in days,” Whatever Arin was pushing against his lips have made it pass, and Dan can faintly make out the taste of...fish?

“Hmmm….” Dan hums. He feels a hand gently pat his cheek, and then he’s thrust back into reality.

He’s back at the campsite. It’s a lot darker than he remembers it last being, so he assumes that he had ran until it got dark.

“Dan, are you okay?” Arin asks him in a gentle voice. He’s being cradled by him, and Arin’s slowly feeding him. He nods his head in agreement, but honestly Dan isn’t sure.

“God, do you even know how long you’ve been gone?”

“A few hours.” Dan’s voice is hoarse, but he’s definite in his answer.

“Dan, it’s been 3 days.” Arin can’t be serious.

“What?”

“You left, Suzy and I spent the night waiting for you to come back, but you never did.” Arin goes back to stroking his hair while he talks, “You didn’t even come back in the morning, and Brian said that you’d probably be okay on your own. I didn’t believe him though.”

“You should have.” Dan whispered.

“You escaped into the woods for 3 days. And when you came back, you were crying and covered in blood.” Blood? Why was he covered in blood?

“You were mumbling about players and saying weird names and begging us to stop touching you. It took me awhile to get you cleaned up, you cried anytime I mentioned cleaning you.”

“....Brian did things to me, Arin.” Dan’s clinging onto Arin now, the side of his face pressed into his chest. He felt small while in Arin’s lap, but he accepted this change.

“I know, Dan….you kept mumbling about it. Brian wouldn’t look at anyone while you spoke. I assume it was out of guilt.” Arin shrugs.

“I can’t leave him; Arin….he’s all I know. This world is all I know.” Arin’s grip on Dan seems to tighten. He doesn’t speak for several moments.

He sighs and says, “I know.”

Dan falls asleep cradled in Arin’s arms, and he hears him whisper, “If I could spend my life showing you real love, I would.”

* * *

 

Arin offers to stay at the campsite with Dan, as he’s still deemed unfit to go out hunting after the incident. No one argues, even though Brian gives him a side eye as they leave. Suzy tells him to stay safe and to keep Dan safe, and he agrees with a nod.

“You didn’t have to stay with me.” Dan mumbles. Arin smiles as he sits beside Dan on the ground. They’re in front of the fire, but Dan still takes the opportunity to cuddle against him.

“I couldn’t leave you alone. I’d be afraid of you running off again.”

“My body hurts too much to run any time soon.” Dan snickers. Arin throws his arm around his shoulder and Dan tenses for a moment before relaxing from his touch. There’s a silence amongst them, but it’s comfortable and Dan revels in it.

“So….can I ask you something?” Arin speaks up, breaking the silence.

“Uh...sure?”

“Why’d you stay with Brian for so long if it started bad early?” Dan gets quiet as he stares into the fire. He’d never gotten asked that. Even after his parents found out, they didn’t ask about how long or how recent. They’d just been relieved that he made it out at all.

“I….” Dan begins, trying to find the right words. “Brian was different. He was sweet and caring when I first met him. Very eager to teach me and stuff, and never really turned me down once he noticed that I was gaining some feelings.” Arin kept quiet and listened, and Dan continued.

“About 2 months in, Brian offered to be with me. Said that us being together would give us a better chance at surviving since we were both going to be strong. Plus he said lovers are more likely to be pitied in the games. It’d increase my chances of survival if I agreed to be with him...something I had definitely wanted.”

“For the first month, things were fine. We’d train, we’d make out, and he’d say a lot of sweet stuff to me, but nothing too big. Then…” Dan takes a deep breath, “Then he wanted more.”

“More? Like, marriage or something?” Arin asked.

“No, no, like...sex.” Arin gives a quiet ‘oh’, but motions for him to continue his story. “I was fine with sex, but I had thought it was too early, ya know? Thought that we should at least save it until before the games started. It’d make it mean more.”

“He said he was fine with it, offered me a drink as an apology.” Dan pauses for a minute, and Arin takes his hand. He gives it a light squeeze.

“And?” Arin whispers.

“I took the drink, took a few sips...then things got fuzzy. Time seemed to switch between fast forward and slow motion. What I remembered was Brian kissing me, and then Brian’s jerking me off…”

“Whoa, what?” Arin stops him, “He was touching you?”

“Yeah. Then he was….fucking me. I was convinced that it was just some fucked up alcohol induced dream, and that’s what Brian told me it was when I asked him about it.”

“That’s...what?” Arin sounds incredulous.

“I believed him. Then I started to have more of these alcohol fueled dreams, and I’d have them more often. It came to a point where they happened even when I hadn’t drunk alcohol with Brian, when I was just having water or something.”

“Dan.” Arin turns Dan’s face so that he’s looking him in the eyes. “You know those weren’t dreams, right?” Dan’s quiet and he avoids eye contact, but Arin isn’t going to let him drop the subject that easily. “Dan!”

“Y-yes….” Dan stutters, voice wavering as he can feel the emotions washing over him at the realization. Arin pulls Dan in, hugging him tightly yet not saying a word as Dan cries into his shoulder. They stay like that for several minutes, until Dan’s just resting his head in the crook of Arin’s shoulder and he’s back at holding Arin’s hand.

“What else did he do?” Arin demands in a stern tone, “If you’re alright telling me, that is.”

“Yeah,” Dan sniffles, “I’m fine talking to you.” Dan gives a tearful smile and Arin returns it. He leans in, and Dan blushes as he feels himself leaning in too. Their faces are only inches apart until Arin stops.

“Uh,” he says, pulling back and rubbing at the back of his neck, “Go on with your story, I don’t want to interrupt you.”

Dan nods, and he spends hours talking to Arin about Brian. He tells him about the shooting incident, and about all the bruises. Arin remarks about seeing them while he cleaned Dan yesterday, and that Dan had cried when Arin even got near them.

“Man, I did a lot of crying,” Dan frowns.

“Yeah, but that makes you human. Having emotions makes you human and it doesn’t hinder your strength any less.”

“That’s….really nice of you to say, Arin. I needed to hear that.” Dan thanks him.

“Just doing my job, keeping my friends happy.” Dan frowns again.

“We could have been friends. If it weren’t for-” Dan waves his hand around him, “All this.”

“Your baggage or the games?”

“Both, they can go hand-in-hand at times. I just-” Dan sighs and pulls his legs up to his chest, “All I can think is that none of this would have happened if these stupid games weren’t a thing. I wouldn’t have met Brian probably; I wouldn’t have had to deal with all of that bullshit….”

“You wouldn’t have met me.” Arin says matter-of-factly. Dan looks over at Arin, who’s giving him a sweet smile.

“...yeah. I guess one good thing came out of all this madness.” Dan playfully bumps Arin, who shoves him back.

“You love me, admit it.” Arin jokes.

“I could learn to love you, that’s for sure.” Dan giggles. He makes eye contact with Arin, who’s staring at him. It’s not an uncomfortable stare, but it’s one Dan can’t quite read.

Before he knows it, Arin’s on top of him, and he’s pressing his lips against Dan’s. He tangles their fingers together and Dan’s breath is taken away as Arin slides his hand up the back of Dan’s shirt.

“Arin…” Dan moans, and Arin blushes as he pulls away from him.

“I’m...I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Arin scoots away from Dan.

“It’s alright.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah...but Suzy?” Arin gave a sad chuckle.

“We’re not even in love, dude….Suzy’s just my best friend.”

“I mean, isn’t marriage just marrying your best friend who you want to fuck?”

“Not this one….I married Suzy because the guy her parents _actually_ wanted her to marry was an asshole.” Arin runs a hand through his hair.

“He was….god, he was awful. Racist, ignorant, inconsiderate of others. But he had the money Suzy’s parents needed….so it was arranged really fast.” Dan didn’t even know people still did arranged marriages. Maybe because his parents never told him much about the ‘real world’ besides the Games being awful and hoping that they’re over before Dan ever decides he wants children.

“Did Suzy’s folks not notice that stuff?”

“No. The asshole was good at hiding it for a while. It didn’t really get bad until I found out he had been cheating on Suzy. Some guy, never found out his name. I don’t know what anyone would want with sleeping with him.”

“Oh god. What was the asshole’s name?”

“Jon.” Dan’s blood runs cold. He remembers Jon.

“Do you know what happened to him?” Dan’s twirling his hair around his fingers, tugging on them lightly

“They say his body was found in a river a few months back, before Suzy and I got married. They couldn’t find his head, but they said it was almost like someone ripped it off his body. Crazy, huh?”

Dan’s staring into the fire again.

_“So you think you can just run from me with your little fucktoy, huh?” Brian hisses, knife pressed against Jon’s throat as Dan’s on the floor, crying for him to stop._

_“Brian, please, he means nothing-” Dan babbles before Brian digs his knife in Jon’s skin, slicing across. The blood sprays out of him, covering Dan in a sheen layer of it, and he’s screaming._

_“You’re damn right he means fucking nothing.” Brian now has both of his hands on the sides of Jon’s head, twisting and twisting until-_

_Dan vomits, most of it landing on his shirt and the rest dribbling onto the floor as he watches Brian rip Jon’s head off. He throws it onto the ground, and then he’s stomping over to Dan. Hand around his neck, he lifts him up and slams him into the wall, his skull cracking against the concrete._

_“If you ever cross me again, I'll rip your throat out, just like I did your little friend back there.”_

“Dan!” Arin claps his hands in front of his face, shocking him.

“Huh?” Dan’s voice is a bit choked.

“You drifted away for a sec there, you alright?”

“Y-yeah….just daydreaming, ya know?”

“Understandable.” Arin doesn’t press any further, and Dan secretly thanks him for that. He doesn’t want to have to confess this too.

* * *

 

Since the kiss, Dan’s too afraid to look Arin in the eye for the remainder of the day. There’s no real tension from Arin’s side, but Dan still feels guilty for kissing him. He feels Arin smile in his direction every now and then, but he can also feel Brian’s heated gaze on him. So it doesn’t shock him when Brian approaches him later that night.

“Hey, how are you feeling Dan?” Brian sidles up to Dan once he’s getting ready for bed. Dan tries to avoid him, but it’s just the two and he has no one to really stand up for him besides himself.

“I’m….fine.” he chokes out.

“Good, good….man, you were having some really sick hallucinations when you got back, huh?” Brian’s still trying to talk to him, fuck.

“I guess? I think a lot of repressed memories came back, that’s all.”

“Repressed memories, huh?” Brian seems to be inching closer to him.

“Y-yeah.” Dan stutters. God, he needs Brian away from him now.

“You sure those weren’t some delusions? Because you kept talking about how you don’t belong here,” Brian leaned close to him, and Dan gulps, “But I think you belong _here_ more than anyone else.”

Dan’s hands are shaking again. He doesn’t know what to do or where to go, he feels stuck.

“Yo, Dan, you coming in or-” It’s Arin’s voice from behind him that relaxes Dan instantly. “Oh. I’m not...interrupting, am I?”

“No!” Dan exclaims, turning away from Brian and walking as fast as he can towards the tent.

“You were, actually.” Brian frowns.

“If Dan says I’m not, then I guess I’m not.” Arin replies, opening the flap just enough for Dan to crawl inside.

Brian glares at Arin, and Arin back at Brian.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, Hanson.”

“Dan is my friend and I care about him. I’ll die before I let someone hurt him again.”

“Be careful what you wish for.” Brian hisses, and then he’s crawling into his own tent.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Dan whispers when Arin ducks back inside, “Defend me, I mean.”

“I know, but I did it anyway. I know now that it’s best to keep him away from you so...maybe we leave tomorrow?”

“Arin, I don’t know. Maybe it’s best that we stay?” Arin shakes his head in disagreement.

“Dan, either way….one of us will have to die. I’d rather it not be by Brian.” Dan frowns at Arin, looking down at his lap as he twists his fingers.

“Brian wouldn’t kill me, Arin...he’s done awful shit but he wouldn’t kill me, he promised.”

“What do you mean he promised?”

Dan shrugs as he moves closer to Arin. “Before the games, he said that he promised the Board that he wouldn’t let me die. He’s killed other people, yeah, but he’s just doing it to protect me.”

“Dan, he put a gun to your head and threatened to kill you if you didn’t murder a stranger, are you sure we’re talking about the same Brian here?”

“Arin, please, I just don’t think he’d kill me.” Arin frowns, “I’m just here for shock value anyway.”

“Shock value?” Arin asks, confused. Dan nods.

“Yeah. Me being here is actually some technical error, apparently. But they let me stay for ratings.”

“Who told you that?”

“Brian,” Dan speaks nonchalantly, “Said the Board won’t kill me because I’m not even supposed to be here. Since my parents won their Games, I’m not supposed to be able to participate you know?”

“Yeah, yeah, it skips a generation,” Arin waves his hand as if he’s brushing that comment aside, “but Dan, how could Brian know it’s an error yet still convince them to let you stay?”

“I don’t know?” Arin’s quiet for a minute, looking down at the tent floor and drumming his fingers against his thighs.

“Dan.” Arin pauses before he speaks again, “Do you think Brian set you up?”

Dan laughs incredulously, “What? That’s impossible.”

“No, no, hear me out,” Arin turns his body towards Dan and doesn’t make direct eye contact as he thinks, “Okay, you always mention that Brian’s close with the Board. How is he close?”

“Uh...I don’t know? I never asked, but he seemed very close.”

Arin thinks for a moment. “You don’t find it strange that he’s on such good terms with a group of people whose no one _ever_ met?”

Dan rolls this over in his mind for a few moments. Brian mentioned the Board a lot during training, saying that they were always watching, always listening.

That they were closer than he thought.

“I-I don’t know.” Dan mumbled.

Ross crashes into their tent, causing the two men inside to yelp in fear.

“Ross, what the fuck?” Arin shrieks. Ross shushes the two, looking behind him as if he thought he was being watched. His panicked look gives a frightening kind of confirmation.

“I was listening to you two,” Ross begins.

“Yeah, we can see that,” Dan interrupts.

“And you guys need to run.” Ross pleads.

“What, why?” Arin asks him. Ross leans closer to them.

“Brian….he wants to kill Dan-” Arin interrupts him.

“I told you!”

“-And he’s been trying ever since he found him, apparently.”

“How do you even know this, Ross?”

“Because it’s...fuck, he told me, okay? I always knew that he wanted to fucking kill you, Dan. He’d been tracking you since the Games started and got really mad at me for not following you like I promised.” Ross confesses, staring Dan down with a look of sheer sincerity.

“You’ve been following me around?”

“No, I couldn’t….I don’t know what his problem with you is, but if you want to have any chance of surviving, you guys have to leave.”

“What about you. Ross?” Ross looks away, voice wavering as he responds to Arin.

“I have to stay....you know how Brian gets when you cross him….” Ross gives a weak chuckle, but Dan can see his eyes turning red. He’s on the verge of tears. Dan places a hand on Ross’s cheek and Ross turns his head to face him.

“Thank you for telling us, Ross. Please….be careful.” Ross sniffles and gives a sad smile.

“I can’t make promises that I can’t keep. Get Suzy and get out of here, fast. Brian will be back soon.”

“He left?” Arin asks.

“Yes,” Ross nods, “He went out to do late night people hunting, but I don’t think there’s any players left...besides us.”

“You don’t think…?” Arin looks over to Dan, who’s calmer than he’s ever seen him.

“We need to leave now. Ross...I’m sorry.” Dan takes his hand off of Ross’s cheek and crawls beside him to exit the tent.

“But, Dan, we can’t leave them,” Arin argues.

“It’s too late for them, Arin. If it comes down to it,” he turns to him with a serious look etched on his face.

“I will die before I let Brian take you and Suzy.”

* * *

 

Waking Suzy up would have been easier if Holly hadn’t been sharing a tent with her. Upon her waking up, Holly shot up, shocked to see Arin and Dan there.

“What’re you guys-?” Holly begins before Dan hushes her.

“We uh...we have to go, Holly. I’m sorry.” Holly’s face falls.

“I understand,” she looks into her lap, then back at them, “Please….please come back for me?”

Dan could hear the anguish in her voice as she spoke. She knew, and Dan felt awful.

“We’ll try.” A few tears fall down Holly’s face as the trio exits the tent and leaves her.

“Where are we going?” Suzy yawns, scratching her head as Arin pulls her along.

“As far away from here as possible.” Dan answers. Suzy’s too tired to really understand and allows Arin to continue pulling her along. They navigate through the dark as best as they could, running until they can barely make out the hue of the campfire.

They make it to a clearing, and Dan leans up against a tree. He takes a few moments to catch his breath and looks over to Arin and Suzy, who are sitting on the ground. They’re staring up at the canopy of trees, flashes of moonlight dancing on their faces and Dan’s heart breaks. He can’t let them die, he just can’t.

“Dan, you know we left everything at the campsite right?” Arin cuts through the silence, and Dan curses under his breath.

“We can’t go back for it now. We’ll have to wait until they’re gone.” Dan tells him, pressing his hands against his face. He’s growing aggravated, mad at himself for leaving behind all of their weapons. How else are they going to defend themselves against...no one. Except for Brian.

“How long do you think we’ll have to wait?” Arin asks him. Dan shrugs, knowing that he hadn’t thought this far into the plan other than running. “So we just sit out here until it’s morning?”

“Pretty much.” Dan tugs at his hair. He doesn’t expect them to make it to the morning.

He slides down the tree and rests on the ground. Fuck, he just wants to sleep forever, but he needs to keep them safe. Looking over, he sees that Arin and Suzy are cuddled together, Suzy sleeping on Arin’s shoulder. Arin catches his eye and Dan sees that he’s scared. It’s like the first time they met, but a lot less hectic and more somber. Arin knows that if things go right...one of them will have to die. Dan rips his gaze away and stares up at the canopy, catching glances of the night sky.

_“When I was younger, I used to sneak out onto the roof of my house to stargaze.” Dan confesses to Brian, whose arms are wrapped around Dan’s chest as Dan has his back pressed against Brian. They’re inside Dan’s room, lying on the floor as they talk._

_“Never took you for an astronomer.” Brian jokes. Dan laughs and elbows him in the side._

_“I wasn’t, I just...there’s something amazing about the sky. Endless and beautiful, and the sunsets used to entrance me.” Dan blushes. Brian’s quiet and Dan thinks he’s said too much._

_“Come with me,” Brian takes his arms off of Dan and stands up, extending a hand to him._

_“Where are we going?” Brian hushes him and they climb out the window, onto the roof. They tiptoe their way to the top, where Dan can see the sun dipping below the horizon._

_“Whoa…” Dan whispers. Brian holds his hand, and they watch as the sun sets._

_“Close your eyes, Dan,” Brian whispers, “Let this moment take over you, and remember it whenever you need to calm yourself. Remember, Daniel.”_

A sharp shriek breaks Dan out of his reverie and he shoots up, looking around him. The scream wakes Suzy and Arin pulls her closer as another scream is heard, and it’s….

Calling for help?

“That’s Holly.” Arin says, and they make eye contact. He promised to come back for her.

“Let’s go.” Arin and Suzy get off the ground and follow after Dan, who takes off back towards the camp.

“Please, let us make it to them in time,” Dan thinks to himself.

* * *

 

They make it back to the campsite, but they can’t find Holly or Ross. Neither can they find Brian. It’s quiet here, too quiet.

“I know we didn’t imagine those screams,” Arin walks around the campsite, trying to find traces of the pair, but finding nothing. It was almost like they vanished.

“Hey boys,” Suzy called to them from the campfire, “looks like we can check off where their belongings went,” Suzy points to the fire and of course, there’s clothing remnants scattered in there. From the looks of it, they had recently been put there.

“So they couldn’t be too far?” Dan takes a stick and picks at the fire; picking up what he assumes is a shred from Ross’s sky blue t-shirt, the shirt that Dan remembers him wearing that day. But why would it be here?

A strangled scream is heard from off near the spring, and Dan recognizes it as Holly’s. He nods his head over in the general direction, Arin grabbing a knife from one of the abandoned tents. Dan takes it from him, and they exchange a knowing glance. It was now or never.

Dan leads them to the spring, shushing as he hears a voice. They duck behind some bushes and listen in on the conversation.

“You cunt, telling him that I’m going to kill him,” A crack is heard, and Dan peaks through the bushes and is greeted by Brian on top of Ross.

“Brian, please, he doesn’t deserve this-” A slap and Dan looks around and spots Holly on the ground. She’s not moving, but he can see hear breathing. She’s out cold, fuck. Dan points her out to them and Arin nods, knowing what they have to do.

“He deserves this as much as you deserve this.” Brian sneers and Dan hears a knife slicing into skin. Oh no, _oh no_.

Dan sneaks from behind the bush, watching as Brian slices Ross’s neck. It’s slow, as if he wants Ross to feel every nerve pop and every vessel burst as he cuts him open. Dan has his knife at the ready as he makes his way to Brian. He looks behind him and watches Arin and Suzy sneak over to Holly, picking her up and patting her cheek.

“It’s a shame, Ross, you were my favorite fuck.” Brian gets up, standing over Ross’s body. Dan could just barely make the deep slash on his neck in the dark, but that wasn’t his problem. No, his problem was standing right in front of him, admiring the carnage he created. Dan lunges forward and stabs into his shoulder.

Brian lets out a strangled cry as Dan yanks the knife out. He turns around and his eyes are ablaze as he is faced by Dan.

“Well, look who decided to make an appearance.” Brian sneers and brings up his own knife. Dan slashes at him, cutting Brian across the chest. He hisses and touches the wound, groaning as he notices the blood. “And to think I was going to let you live until the end,” Brian shrugs, “Guess I’ll have to stick to our regularly scheduled plan.” Brian stuffs his knife in his back pocket and swings a fist at Dan, landing right on his jaw and Dan goes flying onto the ground.

“Dan!” Arin shouts, and Brian scowls at them.

“Bringing your new fucktoy and his wife along, huh? I can’t deny them a show, so let’s have them watch as I bleed you _dry_.” Brian lifts Dan up by his hair, ignoring the cry he lets out. He jabs him in the stomach, and Dan doubles over in pain.

“Stop, stop it now!” Arin screams, racing towards the two.

“Arin, no,” Dan coughs, “Get back!”

Brian rolls his eyes and drops Dan to the ground. “God, you’re so annoying, you know that?” Brian pulls his handgun from...somewhere. How didn’t Dan notice it at first? Arin halts at the sight of it, and Brian laughs mockingly.

“Aww, not so tough when there’s a gun in your face, huh?” Brian waves it around, and Arin flinches, hands raised above his head in surrender. “Man, it’d be so easy to kill you, but you’re not why I’m here.”

“Why are you here?” Arin speaks up. Dan looks over at Suzy, who managed to get Holly awake. They’re watching from the distance and Suzy is consoling Holly, who’s crying. Probably because her dead husband’s laying there on the ground, forgotten by the group to focus on Brian’s rabid attitude.

“Aren’t you a curious little asshole?” Brian quips, but he continues, “I am here because of Dan.”

“Yeah, we know, but why? What did Dan ever do to you?” Arin questions. Brian sighs out of annoyance.

“It’s not what _Dan_ did. It’s what his parents did.” Brian shrugs.

“My parents?” Dan says weakly, wiping the blood off the side of his mouth.

“Yes! Your parents,” Brian points the gun to Dan now, who stays on the ground and decides against getting up. “Your parents murdered mine in these very games!” Brian says this excitedly, as if them doing this was some weight off his back.

“You sound happy about that, so what’s the big fucking deal?” Dan retorts. Brian clicks the safety, and Dan’s breath hitches.

“Oh, don’t be misled, I was devastated. I mean, any child would be. The only problem was that no one knew I existed.” Dan was confused, and it seems that Brian could tell. “By that, I mean they never really let anyone know I was born because they wanted to protect me. You can imagine the mayhem that ensued when they got drafted and I was left alone. They promised to return. So after a year without them, I realized that no, they wouldn’t be returning. I spent at least six months in that house alone until the Board found me. They’d come to clear out the house in the middle of the night, not expecting to find some underfed, sickly child who no one knew about.”

“They take me, and I’m raised under them. I learn every in and out, I’m taught about every opponent and even every future opponent, and I’m taught about who murdered my parents. And…as time went out...I learned that they had a child.” Brian smiles down at Dan, a sick smile that sends chills down his spine, “They had you, Daniel. And I knew what I had to do.”

“Did...did you-?” Dan sounds doubtful.

“Did I what? Fuck with the system so that you’d get picked? Why of course I didn’t, Daniel, I’m not that mean,” Brian laughs, and Dan breathes a sigh of relief, “I just told the Board what I wanted and they made sure you were to get picked, regardless of your status.”

“You....you had them put me in...to kill me?” Dan speaks slowly, trying to process it all.

“Pretty much, yes.” Brian nods.

Dan can feel his chest tightening. All those months of being beaten, of being yelled at, at being promised a happy life....

“You used me,” Dan stands up and he ignores the pain shooting through him, “You had me kill people….just because you wanted to kill me over something my parents did over 30 years ago?”

“Yup. Pretty awful, huh?” Brian smirks, “Now that you know this, I can finally kill you with a clear mind.” He’s aiming for his head and Dan freezes. He shuts his eyes and waits for the shot to come, for it all to be over, but the sound of rock hitting metal causes his eyes to open and he sees Suzy tossing a rock up and down in her palm.

“In times of resistance, stones are all you have left!” She crowed, tossing a rock and hitting Brian in the hand. She looks over at Dan and nods. Her eyes are full of tears.

“Ah, you bitch!” Brian barks, aiming the gun at her and pulling the trigger.

“No!” Arin yells, but it’s too late. Brian delivers a headshot and Suzy’s lifeless body crumples to the ground. Arin tackles Brian, causing the gun to fall out of his grasp and Arin’s now beating his face with the stone that Suzy threw. “You son of a bitch!”

Brian covers his face as best as he can, but Arin just beats at his hands, crying until he manages to be pushed off. Dan, having been struck frozen out of fear, snaps out of his trance and looks on the ground in front of him. The gun’s at his feet. He could pick it up and end this all. But then he’d be left with Holly and Arin, whom he can’t bring himself to hurt in any way. Dan swallows and bends down, fingers shaking as they wrap around the handle.

“You dickhead, you can burn in hell with your whore wife,” Brian growls down at Arin, pulling his seemingly forgotten knife out of his back pocket, “When you get there, tell Ross I said hi.”

A shot rings out, and Brian shouts out as a bullet passes through his palm and the knife drops from his hand. Dan’s got tears falling down his face and he watches as Arin overpowers Brian and knocks him off.

“Daniel, I was just going to give you a quick, painless death but now?” Brian stands up off the ground and he’s slowly trudging over to Dan, “Now I’m going to drag this out for as long as I can.” He kicks Dan in the stomach, and the gun flies out his hand as he drops. Brian climbs on top of him and with each hit, Dan can just feel the life bleeding out.

_“Remember the sunset, Daniel.” Brian kisses his temple, “Close your eyes and let it go.”_

_Dan’s eyes are shut and the sky’s growing dark as the sun falls under the horizon._

_“Open your eyes and enjoy the view, Dan,” it’s Arin’s voice. What’s Arin doing in his memories? The hand holding his doesn’t feel familiar, and when he looks next to him, it’s Arin._

_“You don’t need to close your eyes to capture a moment. Keep them open and enjoy it while you still have the chance.” Arin whispers to him, “Enjoy it, Dan.”_

“Guess I’ll be the only winner this year,” Brian cackles as he wraps his hands around Dan’s neck, pressing down on his windpipe. Dan can swear it’s crushing beneath Brian’s grip, but he has no time for that. In fact, he has no time for anything. His vision’s becoming spotty as the breath is choked out of him.

“A-Ar-” Dan chokes out, and Brian shakes his head.

“He can’t help you, Dan. He knows better.” Dan’s face is getting stained with tears as breathing becomes more difficult, “Sad that you didn’t.”

Dan closes his eyes and he feels himself drifting away....he knows it’s coming…

Then the hands are gone and Brian’s shouting as Dan takes a giant gulp of air and coughs as he sits up and sees that Holly and Arin are surrounding Brian. He crawls over and stands on shaky legs, looking down at Brian. There’s a knife in his stomach, and he’s bleeding really bad. Arin turns and hugs Dan, crying into his shoulder. Dan watches as Holly slowly steps towards Ross’s body and kneels beside it, taking his hand in hers and shaking as tears wrack through her. She’s mourning; Dan can only imagine what she’s feeling. Can only imagine what her life will be like now.

“I’ll be damned-” Brian whispers in his ear before a piercing pain shoots through Dan’s back and through his heart, “If you think I’m not dying without you, Daniel.” Dan looks down, and he can barely make out the tip of a machete, _his_ machete, poking through his shirt. Brian crumples to the ground behind him, and Dan falls into Arin’s arms.

“Dan, no!” Arin cries and it grabs Holly’s attention. Arin tries to pull out the knife, but Dan’s cry of anguish stops him. “Dan, fuck, you can’t die, please, I can’t have you die too….”

“Arin,” Dan whispers, eyes glazed over as he bleeds out. He reaches a hand up and touches Arin’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over his cheek and wiping at a stray tear. “When I was younger, I used to watch the sky.”

“What?” Arin lets out a hoarse laugh through his tears, and Dan continues.

“I loved sunsets, they were my favorite. And for years, I’d close my eyes when I saw them, because that way,” Dan coughs, and Arin clutches onto him tighter, “That way, I’d never have to watch the sun go down, and the sunset would last forever in my mind.”

“Dan, what does this have to do with anything?” Arin questioned.

“Meeting you made me want to keep my eyes open...I wanted to watch as the sun went down, because even I knew that it’d be back the next day.” Arin presses his forehead against Dan’s and laughed again.

“Dan, that’s really gay, you know that?”

“I know. Promise me that you’ll keep your eyes on the sky, Arin....never forget your sunset.” Dan smiles, and Arin presses his lips against Dan’s.

Then Dan’s hand slips off his cheek. His eyes are shut and his skin’s getting cold. Arin cries against his lips as a cannon blast echoes throughout the forest.

“We won,” Holly whispers. Arin looks up at her, and she drops to her knees as she cries harder than Arin’s seen anyone cry.

“We won.” Arin looks around him. Sees the bodies scattered around and looks at Dan’s lifeless body lying in his arms. This isn’t what winning feels like.

* * *

 

Arin wakes up in a cold sweat one night, breathing heavily as he tries to control his breathing. The woman beside him doesn’t stir, and Arin expects it. This has happened more than once, and each time Arin reassured her that he was fine, regardless of how long the episodes lasted for.

He climbs out of bed and pads over to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him and cutting on the light. He stares into the mirror, examining his face.

He looks like he’d aged by over 10 years, when in reality it had only been 5 years since...since them. He splashes water on his face and takes a deep breath, attempting to calm himself so that he didn’t end up crying on the bathroom floor again. He didn’t want to wake her.

“Arin?” the voice on the other side of the door shocks him, but he relaxes as he turns around and opens the bathroom door.

“Yeah, Holly?” he sighs.

“I’m just checking in,” she whispers into the dark, “It’s that time of night, huh?” She leans against the doorframe and Arin nods his head.

“Yeah...” Holly takes his hand and rubs his palm with her thumb. He looks down at her hands and he feels like he’s going to cry again.

“Another nightmare?” Arin nods again, voice choked up.

“Care to tell me about this one?” Holly asked him. Arin sighs as he begins.

“Just...we were back in the woods, and I’m there with Dan and Suzy, and everything is fine, then Brian’s there, yelling at Dan and he’s pulling out a gun and shooting Suzy again, and when the knife comes out, I can never stop him, I just want to save him, I want to save them, I should’ve let him kill me instead, I was such a fucking pussy, I couldn’t even save _Suzy_ ,” Arin’s rambling and crying, and Holly shushes him, placing her hand on his cheek and looking him in the eye.

“We’re not there anymore, Arin,” she consoles, pulling him in closer, “We’re here with each other, and everything is going to be okay.” Arin leans his head on her shoulder and he’s silently crying as she holds him. They sink until they’re cuddled up on the bathroom floor, Holly petting his hair and Arin with his head nestled in the crook of Holly’s neck as he cries.

“We’re safe, Arin.”

“But they’re not.” Holly pauses her petting. She knows who he’s referring to, and she has to keep her cool for his sake. “They’re not here and now we have to live this...this lie.”

“I know, Arin, but they’d be happy to know that we’re safe.”

“What’s the point of safety? Why care about my own safety if they’re not _here_ , Holly?” Arin’s babbling now, this is probably one of his worse nights. But this doesn’t stop Holly from attempting to comfort him.

“We both miss them, Arin,” She lifts up his chin so he can look her in the eye, “But we can’t go back. We have to live for _them_ , Arin. We have to seek out our sunset, for them.” Holly whispers the last part for Arin’s sake. He’s managed to control his crying, and now he’s sniffling. He leans in and kisses her, catching her off-guard.

Kisses weren’t necessarily rare for them, but they were still scared to do them because the simple gestures always reminded each other of the people they’d lost.

“Will we ever be okay, Holly?” Arin whispers against her lips.

“Maybe someday,” She responds, “But until then...we have to live for them. Can you promise me that?” She looks him in the eyes and he contemplates her words for moment. She knows he’s mentioning the attempts, and he knows that she’s had her fair share in the beginning. But it didn’t feel right of him to live without them.

But it wouldn’t be right to leave Holly alone by herself either.

He takes her hand and kisses her palm. She smiles at him and kisses his forehead.

“I promise to live for us.” Holly got choked up for minute and lets out a broken chuckle as she sits up.

“Let’s um-” She pauses and touches her lips, drumming her finger against them, “Let’s get back to bed, yeah?” Arin nods and they make their way off the bathroom floor and walk back to their bed. Arin gets in first and turns his back away as Holly climbs in behind him. It’s quiet for a few minutes before Holly whispers, “Arin?”

“Hm?”

“Could you...hold me tonight?” She sounds scared, Arin can understand why. He doesn’t respond, just turns to her and wraps her in his arms. She nuzzles into his chest and sighs.

“I love you, Holly.” Arin whispers. This was another rarity for them, telling each other this. But they know they meant it each time.

“I love you too, Arin.”

Arin sleeps better than he ever has that night.

 


End file.
